Story: Strong (June 3rd, 2011)

Adam was strong. Everybody knew that. When Adam was in high school he was in Varsity sports, and while he wasn't the best player on the team, he was a good and important player. While he didn't have much time to, when he could, he practiced martial arts after school. This wasn't why he was strong.

Adam was an excellent student. He studied all the time, and aced most of his classes. He was never tardy, and handed in his homework on time, even under incredible duress. He finished everything to the best of his ability, and was polite and respectful to the teachers and other students. Moreover, he was humble and helpful about his work. This wasn't why he was strong.

Adam was a talented musician. He played the clarinet excellently, when he had the time to practice. He wasn't in the school band, but every once in a while, he'd whip out his old inherited clarinet, and play, and everyone listening would agree that it was good. It made Adam feel good to play, and make others feel good. This wasn't why he was strong.

Adam didn't have an easy life. When he was twelve, his mother became seriously ill, it turned out to be cancer, and when he was fourteen, she died. He mourned, and he was quite sad for a long time, but he struggled on, continuing his studies, continuing his sports and his occasional music, and trying to make the best of himself. Even this wasn't why he was strong.

Adam wasn't rich. Both his parents held down jobs, and with the medical bills, and the illness and loss of his mother, he and his father were forced to move. He was able to stay in the same school district, but in a much smaller house that was near falling apart. With help from his dad, he fixed up the place, and nearly made it sparkle. All the while, he never complained or gave it much notice. This wasn't why he was strong.

When he was sixteen, his father got a pay cut at work, and even the smaller place would have been to expensive to keep. He quit his sports and martial arts, and searched, and found a small menial job to help meet the bills. During this, he kept up with and excelled in his studies at school, and didn't think much of it, even when he had to lose sleep. He worked admirably, and kept going. This wasn't why he was strong.

When he was seventeen, the High School seniors got to go on a school camping trip, and since it was free, he got a day off from work and went. He brought along a stuffed rabbit, slightly worn but obviously well cared for, if extremely well loved. He got plenty of funny looks from the other students, but he explained that this rabbit was important to him, it was given to him by his mother, and though it was important to him beforehand, after she died, it became immensely cherished.

High School students are not always the most mature of people, and he was teased for it, and much of the free time at night was spent making fun of him. He, like most things, ignored it, and since they didn't seem to be doing anything more than talking, just turned the other cheek and pretended it wasn't happening. This wasn't why he was strong.

Time came for applying to college, and not too surprisingly, Adam got a well-needed full scholarship, and enough financial aid to dorm at the school of his choice. He said his goodbyes to work and to his high school friends, and packed his bags, and left.

His first year, everything went great, he loved the people he dormed with, and his classes went well. He was focused and applied himself well, and even managed to get a small on-campus job and send some extra money home to his father.

His second year at school, one of his suitemates, a freshman, was extremely immature, rude, obnoxious, disrespectful, and quite often downright evil. Adam put up with him, even tried, though subtly, to help him. He did his best to be polite and courteous and friendly even when the freshman was at his worst.

Of course, Adam had brought his special rabbit, as he could hardly sleep without it. His roommate had given it an odd look at first, but Adam had explained it, and his roommate was sympathetic, and honestly thought it was kind of cute. That day, his roommate had inadvertently left the door unlocked, and the bratty freshman, the only one in the suite at the time, found this out, and he entered Adams room.

He saw the stuffed rabbit sitting on the bed, and chuckled to himself. Adam, the calm, cool, collected guy, owning a stuffed animal? He decided he'd have some fun with it, and took out a knife. He slashed at the rabbit savagely, and spread the stuffing all around on Adam's bed.

When Adam returned, he broke down crying immediately. He had never been so sad since his mother died. He was at a complete loss, cradling the pieces of his broken animal, gathering them together and sorting them. He became angry, and almost started a fight with the freshman until his roommate calmed him down.

Adam could not bear it. He wasn't seen at classes for weeks. He stopped showing up at his job. His grades dropped precipitously. His roommate was concerned, and got him to go to counseling. Even the counselor, initially, was surprised. All these things that he had gone through, all the hardships, all the trials, and he had broken down over a stuffed animal?

The counselor spent more time, and listened deeper. It did make a sort of sense. Strength is rarely, if ever, something truly internal. Strength is lent or borrowed, given by people, or objects, or ideas. One is not simply strong, there is a reason why one is strong. Adam had been strong because his stuffed animal gave him strength, a little toy his mother had given him as a child, but when he was really young, he developed a bond with it, and felt like it was almost real. When he was older, he didn't really believe it completely, but he still felt it, and that was what was important. He didn't want to hurt the rabbit, he wanted to be a good role model and a good person so the rabbit would be happy with him.

That is why he was strong.

Ending for Optimists:
And Adam learned how to sew. This is also why he is strong.

I feel like strength is something external to oneself, that one may not even be able to be independently strong. Sometimes, the reason is, or seems, trivial. Sometimes it is truly profound. And I would like to say that the only reason why I'm as strong as I am is there is one person I want to be strong for. It's probably the only reason I'm here as well. I may have let her down sometimes, and I feel so much regret for that, but I will keep on striving so long as my success will make her happy, and as long as it will help me to help her. If she ever hated me, or stopped caring about me, I'd probably keep on existing, but I couldn't keep on truly living. I say this not to be melodramatic or romantic or anything. I say this merely because it's true.